When Organizations Try to Do Everything Themselves
Let’s be honest—most nonprofits operate like they’re the only game in town. You’ve seen it: organizations stretching themselves thin trying to be everything to everyone, turning down partnerships because they’re worried about “losing” clients, or forcing awkward fits because they think saying “we’re not the right match” means admitting failure.
This go-it-alone approach creates what we call “scarcity-based service delivery” where organizations compete rather than collaborate. In philanthropy advising, this looks like:
- Advisors taking on clients outside their expertise rather than referring them
- Geographic limitations preventing organizations from getting the right support
- Mission-driven groups settling for “good enough” rather than “right fit”
- Advisors viewing referrals as lost revenue rather than better service
Organizations that operate this way often find themselves overwhelmed, trying to serve everyone while serving no one particularly well.
Making Space for Better Connections
Here’s where our participation in the Independent Philanthropy Advisor Referral Group (IPAR) reflects core Spaciology principles: we’re creating space for authentic alignment rather than forcing connections that don’t quite fit.
IPAR is a national network of trusted, collaborative philanthropy advisors who understand that the right match matters more than any individual ego. When we connect with this network, we are practicing what Spaciology calls “holding space for emergence”—allowing the best possible partnership to unfold naturally rather than trying to control the outcome.
The shift is profound: instead of asking “How can we make this work?” we ask “What would serve this organization’s mission best?” Sometimes that’s Robert Levey at Exponential Squared. Sometimes it’s a colleague in Portland who specializes in environmental nonprofits, or someone in Atlanta with deep experience in arts organizations.
The Navigation System for Right-Fit Partnerships
Effective referral networks require what Spaciology identifies as relational intelligence: the ability to sense into what wants to emerge rather than what we think should happen. Most mission-driven leaders have strong intuition about fit, but creating systems that honor that intuition requires intentional work.
Regional Context: Philanthropic norms differ dramatically across regions. What works in New Hampshire doesn’t automatically translate to Denver or Atlanta.
Specialized Expertise: Some organizations need advisors who understand specific sectors, funding landscapes, or cultural contexts.
Relationship Dynamics: Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there—and that’s okay. Better to acknowledge it early and find a better fit.
This framework prevents us from forcing partnerships that drain everyone involved. When we’re clear on these elements, referral conversations become collaborative exploration rather than defensive territory-marking.
Creating Space for Everyone’s Success
The most generous thing we can do as advisors is create space for our colleagues’ expertise to shine where it serves best. This requires what spaciology calls “decentering the ego”—recognizing that our role is to facilitate the best possible outcome, not to be the hero of every story.
Genuine Assessment: What does this organization actually need? What frustrates them about their current fundraising approach?
Honest Evaluation: Are we the right fit for their culture, geography, and specific challenges? If not, who might be?
Network Intelligence: Which IPAR colleagues have the expertise, location, or perspective that would serve this mission best?
Collaborative Handoff: How can we facilitate a warm introduction that honors everyone’s time and builds trust from the start?
When we approach referrals this way, we’re not losing business—we’re cultivating a network that strengthens everyone involved.
The Long-Term View
Organizations that prioritize right-fit partnerships over territorial thinking report stronger outcomes, better advisor relationships, and more sustainable growth. More importantly, they create funding ecosystems that don’t depend on any single advisor trying to be everything to everyone.
This approach requires what Spaciology calls “trust in the field”—believing that when we create space for authentic connections, better outcomes emerge for everyone. You can’t build this kind of network on competitive timelines or scarcity thinking. But the organizations and advisors that commit to this path find themselves part of something larger than any individual practice.
Through IPAR, we’re not just expanding our referral options—we’re participating in a different way of doing business entirely. One that honors the complexity of mission-driven work and creates space for the right partnerships to emerge.
When you make this shift, you stop trying to be everything to everyone and start building the connections that create lasting impact across the entire sector.
Want to explore whether Exponential Squared is the right fit for your organization? Let’s have that conversation. And if we’re not the perfect match, we will connect you with an IPAR colleague who is. Check out our thoughts on building trust in mission-driven spaces or explore our full range of services.
This post is grounded in the Space as Metaphor framework, which views space as "metaphor for method, moral orientation, and mode of transformation." The framework helps us understand grant writing relationships not as transactional exchanges, but as sacred spaces requiring careful cultivation and ethical stewardship.
